Phyllis Kosminsky, LCSW,PhD
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Publications

Getting Back to Life When Grief Won’t Heal McGraw-Hill, 2007.

Moving beyond grief is often difficult. You may be experiencing complicated mourning, the feeling of being "stuck" in your sorrow, frustration and regrets.

In Getting Back to Life When Grief Won't Heal, you'll find a path through your grief when you read the intimate stories of people who managed to do the same. You'll find real inspiration, invaluable insight and deeply felt advice. You'll learn that yes, there is hope; and that with time, you can let go of the overwhelming sense of loss and embrace life again.

Purchase Getting Back to Life When Grief Won't Heal on Amazon.

Praise for Getting Back to Life When Grief Won't Heal

"I have always thought of life, and grief, as a complex puzzle. When a significant person dies, there are so many pieces to one's grief, so many missing parts. Phyllis Kosminsky offers the reader the missing pieces and makes sense out of a senseless time. This wonderful book is not only for the bereaved, but for anyone who works with the bereaved, including clergy, hospice personnel, funeral directors, and of course, all therapists."
Helen Fitzgerald, author of 
The Mourning Handbook

 "This is an extraordinary book. It provides an exceptional description of the challenges that often accompany the loss of a loved one, and, more importantly, offers many resources for moving through complicated grief. Ihighly recommend it both for individuals struggling with bereavement and for therapists working with such clients."
Stephen Gilligan, PhD, author of The Courage to Love
 
"This important book gently and clearly helps people get on with their lives and get "unstuck" from the isolating cycle of sadness and self blame often accompanying loss. Almost anyone struggling with grief issues will find the advice offered here to be extremely valuable."
William Feigelman, PhD, author of The Chosen Children

Excerpted from Getting Back to Life When Grief Won't Heal:

Chapter 1: When Grief Becomes a Way of Life
 
        If love has the power to open a heart, the loss of love can break it. The enveloping grief that accompanies the death of a loved one is a subject many have tried to capture in words, but like love itself, is something that cannot be fully understood other than through direct experience. Love stretches our heart to the limits of what it can hold, and grief, to the limits of what it can bear.

       Yet despite the immensity of the experience, the pain of losing a loved one is a blow from which most people do recover. Over time, the fear and emptiness start to subside. Harsh and painful emotions gradually are softened by memories of what was and thoughts of what may lie ahead. With the support of family and friends, and perhaps a good therapist, acceptance of death is followed ultimately by reengagement in life, and people move on.

       But not always. Sometimes, and more often than is generally recognized, people do not make a healthy recovery from loss. For many months or years, they find themselves pulled down by the powerful gravity of grief, drawn inexorably back to the same dark place of fear and sadness. I see people like this in my office every day, people experiencing a grief so intense and unrelenting that they can barely express it, much less heal from it. For a variety of reasons, they simply cannot stop thinking about the person they've lost. They mentally rerun their lives together. They replay the death again and again. Thinking about the past evokes unbearably painful emotions, but so does thinking about the future. People in this situation have described it to me as a feeling of being stuck. Instead of getting better, they seem to be getting nowhere. Something is preventing them from moving past their loss. . .

Related Publications:

Kosminsky, P. and Jordan, J. (2016). Attachment-Informed Grief Therapy: The Clinician's Guide to Foundations and Applications. Routledge: New York.

Kosminsky, P. (2014). “How new insights about the brain are helping us understand attachment and loss.” Grief matters: The Australian Journal of Grief and Bereavement:17:1.

Kosminsky, P. (2014). "Coming to grief: What you need to know about grief in the DSM V." New Therapist: March/April.

Kosminsky, P. (2012). Mapping the Terrain of Loss: Grief and Not-Grief. 
In: Neimeyer, R. (ed.) Techniques of Grief Therapy. New York: Routledge, spring 2012.

Kosminsky,P., and McDevitt, R. Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing. In: Neimeyer, R. (ed.) Techniques of Grief Therapy. New York: Routledge, spring 2012.

Kosminsky, P. (2011): From Here to Eternity: How the Bereaved Maintain Connections to Lost Loved Ones and Why it Matters. Death Studies, 35:6, 595-565.

Kosminsky,P. (2010): “Loss of Functionality: Traumatic Brain Injury.” In: Darcy Harris, (ed.)., Counting Our Losses: Reflecting on ChangeLoss, and Transition in Everyday Life  New York: Routledge, 2010.

Kosminsky,P., and Lewin,D. 2009) 
“Counseling Approaches Aimed at Bereaved Adolescents” In: Corr, S. and Balk, D. (eds.), Handbook of Adolescent Death and Bereavement. New York: Springer Publishing.
 
With William Zangwill and Jessica Pearson: “Eye Movement Desensitatization and Reprocessing (EMDR)”. In: Shannon, S. (ed.), Handbook of Complimentary and Alternative Therapies in Mental Health Innovation and Integration. New York: Academic Press, 2001.